People whom I find exasperating...

Writing is cathartic to me. Anyway, I really like to believe the best of humanity, but I am often disappointed. Now, I will be the first to admit that I am no Zen-Master. I'm chill in a lot of things, but I'm sure there are things that bother me that hardly register with other people, such as perhaps you. Anyway, here is my list of the types of people who drive me crazy..


1. Oblivious/inconsiderate drivers. I confess. I'm Type-A. I'm also one of those people who pays full attention when he drives, and I expect that same sort of attention of someone else who is piloting some two tons of mass alongside me on the road.

Yes, Mr Honda Accord driver who didn't go when the green arrow, I'm talking to you. If you were truly lost, I understand and apologize for giving you the finger. BUT if you decided that you wanted to go to Trader Joes instead of Whole Foods, keep in mind that you probably took 5 minutes off several people's lunch break, including mine, when there was no need. Make the left turn anyway and turn around.

I'm also talking about you, Ms Ford Focus going 45 in the center lane on the highway. You're not only holding people up, but you're also a safety risk. I'm not only figuring out how to get around you, but I am also concerned about the guy bearing down on my ass going 70.

I'm also talking about you, Ms Ford Explorer holding up Main Street for 219 seconds (I timed it) to wait for someone to pull out of a spot, when there was a few perfectly nice spots maybe a couple cars up. Walk the 10 extra steps. You could use the exercise!

I'm also talking about you, Mr. Dodge Durango blocking the left lane going 55. Not only are you blocking forward progress, but you are causing added wear-and-tear on our infrastructure AND our environment because YOU feel the need to drive a such a big heavy vehicle to look cool. Assclown!


2. Women who don't return phone calls. This seems to be a phenomenon in online dating. I saw your profile, I wrote you. (Very rare for me, as it's hard for me to find someone I'm interested in. Maybe that says something bad about myself...) We had a nice email exchange. We talked on the phone. You seem really cool. I carve out time to see you. We get together. I think it went well. You don't agree. That's perfectly fine, BUT would you give me the respect of a response back?

I HAVE been called too idealistic and naive. I've never been that good at this "dating" thing, but I am learning the "game" and I have mixed feelings about it. That said, I'd like to see YOU make all the first moves, plan a date, AND drive the distance to see the other person, feel hopeful and excited, and then have them blow you off as a non-person. At some point you become more realistic and realize that you are dealing with a stranger and do what you can to make first meets as effortless as possible, but it still wears on you. [Like I said earlier, I do take some things too personally.] And how are we really going to find love if we're all so damn cynical?

I get that the last guys you were with were jerks. I'm not any of those guys. I've seen my share of bad behavior before too, but I don't hold it against you. You're not any of those girls either. (I did go through an "angry" period myself, but I got past it. I just didn't like the person I had become during that time and I had to move on.) I'd like to think seeing that has made me more compassionate--I know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of bad behavior, and because I hated it, I do my best not to subject others to that sort of thing. My policy is: If you ask where you stand, I will tell you.

(Which brings me to an aside... You've heard from The Rules not to contact a man. That's BS. I can tell you a few instances where I was on the fence about calling the girl again, but what swayed me to say yes was that she contacted me after the date. I appreciate some effort and I think most other guys do.)


3. People who pay with checks. I know I know, you have as much of right to pay with a check as I do with my newfangled methods of bank card. But it's still irritating. [I was just behind someone who paid with check.] It's 2011, and 2012 is getting closer. My grandparents have a credit card and they're 90 years old. Get with the times!


4. Dudes who do curls in the squat rack! Extra DIScredit if it happens to be a ridiculously light weight, and your hair is slicked back. Extra extra DIScredit if you don't put your weights back. I wish God will have you do 50 burpees for each time you held up the squat rack, AND for each weight you used that didn't put back before He will even THINK of letting you get into Heaven.

Unlike a lot of people who do Crossfit, I have nothing against globos. A lot of people in Crossfit view them as a sort of intrinsic evil, but I have no problem. I actually spent the evening of January 1st, 2011 thrashing myself to a bunch of heavy deadlifts at 24Hour (the way you live the first day of the year is how you live the rest of the year IMO). It was actually an awesome workout. BUT not having to deal with inconsiderate chumps is a nice perk of Crossfit.


My point: I wish people would consider the feelings of other people before they act. Life would be so much easier...