Saturday, October 20, 2012

Life is all about....

being prepared for moments and making the most of them.

My thought for the day....

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Strength....

Yesterday was my first day back in Strength class after a week at home seeing my parents and my grandparents. I will be straight up and say that I didn't like my attitude towards the workout.

We started with my beloved 400-meter run with a 45-pound high-temp plate. I felt sluggish during it. We then get back and do some warm-ups, and then we do 3 stone-to-shoulders a minute for 6 minutes (I used a 115-pound stone), and then after that and being out of breath, we do another 400-meter plate run! I found myself walking for most of it. And then when we came back from that, we were to do overhead plate lunges with our 45-pound plate (!) and then walk 100 meters with our plate overhead.

More than once I found myself dropping the plate, as much in frustration and anger as in being tired. The cheers to "keep on going!!" made me feel like a mule that was gonna kick someone. "Fuck you with there's no stopping shit, I'm stopping. What has gotten into Luis today. I don't want to do this."

It wasn't all bad. We then went back and did 10 sets of 5 push-presses. And then a 200-meter plate run. I felt so bad about my attitude during the last plate run that I made an extra effort this time to give my all--for some reason 400 meters felt insurmountably far but 200 meters seemed quite doable. And then after class, to make it up, I did a 100-meter overhead plate walk. I had to drop the plate 3 times, but I did the whole thing with the plate overhead, and more importantly, this time I gave it an honest effort with a good attitude. I then stayed and did some muscle-ups.

(I don't know why I struggle with holding the overhead position. I am pretty good at overhead squats and even hand-stand pushups. And yet the longest I have ever held a wall handstand is only 57 seconds (or was it over 60 seconds? I'd like to think I could have dug really deep and found those extra 3 seconds to break a minute...) and I am pretty weak in these overhead walks. Anyway, as I need to improve on this, I should actually be doing this more.)

Anyway, this is something that I am working on. Emotional AND physical strength. I realize I still find myself getting all too pissed and frustrated when things don't go my way, and all too happy when things do. And as I admire composure and poise, I also realize that I don't like this trait about myself. Now that I aware of it, I can improve, right?

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Feet of clay....

I have really been pushing myself at Strength class at our box, and the results are starting to show. I deadlifted 355 yesterday--well over twice my bodyweight, and in general I feel worlds stronger. Luis, our coach, has us run a 400 meter lap with a 45-pound rubber bumper plate. Running with a 45-pound sandbag is tough enough, but a 45-pound bumper plate is that much tougher as, unlike the sandbag, there is no remotely comfortable way to hold the thing while running. Anyway, the first time he had us do it 5 weeks ago, I had to stop and walk by 250 meters in. Last week I was able to complete the entire lap without stopping.

And then after class I have been doing muscle-ups. I understand that when they appear in the Open, they tend to come towards the end, so I want to be able to bang them out even when I am tired. And it seems to be working. Even after we do Prowler suicides in Strength class, I am able to get out 4 or 5 strict in one set. (My PR is still 7 strict in one set, but that was when I was fresh.)

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Why did I get into CrossFit Part 2. Well, I know some people got into it to get into the best shape of their lives. Some people got into it because they miss the competition they got from playing sports growing up. I am going to confess something here: I got obsessed with CrossFit to heal something. I got obsessed with CrossFit to deal with my issues. I got obsessed with CrossFit to prove something to myself. This is how can I put it--a therapy of sorts for me.

Growing up, I didn't have a good self-image. I'm not positive where I got it from, except that I was really really good in math and science but not good in sports. I was also socially awkward, and being in a male-dominated field (science and math) didn't help. I just didn't think of myself as lovable and so in my much younger days I even would do things such as sabotage friendships. On some level deep down I had no idea what I could possibly offer anyone else--just being real here.

The one thing I have always had going for myself though, is that I am incredibly stubborn (as I mentioned before several times). Even though I wasn't happy and I wasn't confident, I still knew I was going to do whatever it took for me to get past this.

And by many measures I've largely succeeded. I've moved to new cities by myself and made friends there. I did this several times in my adult life. I had to push myself to get myself out there, but I did it. I (more or less) got over my shyness. I successfully taught a college class. Even though there were hardly women in my classes and my workplace, I still dated my share.  How did I do it? I got more than decent at meeting women. It was either that or be alone (I only recently discovered the option of online dating) so I made myself go up and talk to the girl. And sometimes she even liked me back--enough to give me her number and meet up with me. I loved and lost. I screwed up myself. I was even cheated on, but I eventually got over it.

But in some regards I still felt weak. Do I have what it takes to be strong? How about strong physically? Well, maybe. I worked my ass off in that regards. I can deadlift well over twice my bodyweight. I can bang out strict muscle-ups. I can push-press my bodyweight, and I can overhead squat well over my bodyweight. I still have no endurance though, and I don't have a double-under (although that is something I have been avoiding facing). My Olympic lifts--the C+J and snatch are so beautiful when they are done right in my opinion--still need some work. My numbers are actually decent but my form is not so much. I muscle things where finesse would work so much better.

I definitely can say this: With every heavy lift, with every prowler suicide, I feel that I am growing. And that keeps me coming back for more. Someone I really think highly of complimented me how I always bring the intensity. That made me feel really good.

Anyway to this end, who I would like to meet and date: Well, yes, what I said before about the girl being cute and passionate about something in life. She also would have to be a bit of a bad-ass. But she would also have to be able to relate to all I wrote above. Whenever I meet women who strike me as the "perfect" All-America type who was always beautiful and popular, I actually find myself feeling intimidated and uneasy. I wonder if she would be able to relate to me. It's as I said before: We are attracted to someone else through their strengths, but we connect and fall in love with someone through their vulnerabilities....

Sunday, August 12, 2012

What I would do if I won the lottery....

At our box we recently added a strength class. Last week I felt I pushed new limits. Monday I did 10 sets of 3 reps of 225-pound back squats. Now 225 pounds is a heavy back squat for me, and I have never done 30 reps at that weight in a single session. I did it, and my legs were sore for a few days. Wednesday we did sled-push "suicides. (This is one sled-push suicide: first, push the sled to a cone 30 feet away, and then jump over the sled and push it back (from the other side of the sled), and next, push the sled to a cone 60 feet away, jump over the sled, and push it back from the other side of the sled, and the finally, push the sled back from the other side of the sled.) By the time we were done I was seeing stars. I then did a bunch of muscle-ups after class. Friday was more back squats and then some log presses, and then this crazy 6-minute drill of non-stop weighted sit-ups, burpees, and then weighted burpees (!), and then after class I did some tire flips and muscle-ups.

A few questions came up, one with a friend hiking a couple months ago, and another this weekend paddleboarding. What would you do if you won the lottery? Where would you live?

What I would do if I won the lottery, satisfies 2 things:  (A) It offers value to other people in a way that is emotionally satisfying to me [whether or not I yet know how to make a living doing it]. (B) It's something that I am good at, in other words, it utilizes my talents.

With this in mind, I'd love to give a high-minded answer such as that I would go to Haiti, but to be honest, there are plenty of people who are better with a hammer and tools than I am.  I mean, I'm decent but I'm not going to pretend to be great or anything. So something like that is out.

OK then, is it related to what I am doing now for my day job? Well, my day job definitely does utilize my talents. So my day job satisfies (B). But I don't always feel that I am offering value in a way that is emotionally satisfying to me.

Is it related to writing this blog. Maybe. There are some bits and pieces of (A) and (B) here. Maybe people reading this can identify with my search for growth and meaning. And for overcoming things such as poor self-image and lack of confidence. And even a certain amount of procrastinating in going after certain things in my life--such as making a move (see below). And any success that I have at this CrossFit thing may have a "If I can do it anyone can" ring to it. If there is anything I've learned, it is that people will be attracted to you for your strengths, but they will connect to you through your experiences, and even your vulnerabilities and weaknesses.


When it comes to looking for a place to settle down, I would say that the place that I live would offer 3 things: community, challenge, and comfort.  With this in mind,  how does Annapolis stack up for me?

Moderately high on Challenge. Between CrossFit and my job, I do feel that I am growing in some meaningful ways. I'm not too far away from some good hiking and I went SUP this weekend. But I'm not near things such as surfing or skiing.

High on Comfort. I know where everything is here. I have a lifestyle and a steady paycheck, and a nice place with strong air-conditioning.

Moderately low on Community. I've made some good friends here. But Annapolis can be a hard place to make friends or date if you are a single guy in his 30's moving here. Seems that most people anywhere near my age have settled down and have families already.

To this end, I am strongly considering a move to San Diego.  High on Challenge and even Community.  I made a couple of friends 4 years ago that I am still friends with even to this day. People just seem to be more welcoming out there than they are here in Annapolis (there are a lot of exceptions as I have met some great people here) and dating seems to be a lot easier for me out there.  But it is low on Comfort as I currently do not have a job waiting for me at the moment.

More to come.


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I gotta comment: "people who need people..."

Random post.

The old expression was (I think) "people who need people are the happiest people in the world". If you look at the self-help literature nowadays, "people who need people" are viewed as dysfunctional. Well, this is my take.

No person can build himself up into a self-sufficient island. We are wired to want meaningful human contact. And even besides that..

At a VERY basic level: When I stop to go get my coffee in the morning, I'm hoping that the barista finds me tolerable enough so that she doesn't put arsenic into my coffee (I hear arsenic tastes like almond). Then when I go to work after that, I hope the boss likes me enough to keep letting me into the front door and allowing me to earn a paycheck that keeps a roof over my head. Then when I stop to get my car serviced at lunch on occasion, I hope the mechanics are decent enough to fix my car properly so I don't discover their errors by getting stranded on the highway in the 95-degree heat. Finally, when I stop at Whole Foods at the end of the day, I hope they find me respectable enough to actually let me into the door to buy my food.

So we care about how other people view us. I think it's perfectly natural to care (and not a sign of weakness), because on some level we are reliant on them for our survival. I suppose that if I were a lion, tiger, or bear and could just chase my food down and overpower it, I wouldn't be so dependent on the commerce system to allow me to just buy my meals. Not to mention that I wouldn't have to buy shelter and transportation. But well, I'm not, and so in the meanwhile...

I suppose some reading this are saying that I could learn to grow my own food, diagnose and fix my own car (that is becoming harder and harder as everything becomes run by more intricate electronics), and take my own medical care into my own hands. But how well would that really work. I'm not sure I'd be a decent farmer (I don't kill plants but I don't have a green thumb), mechanic (I'm decent with my hands but no doubt others are better), or doctor (I'm done with school!)

Someone can and ought to, first of all,  become more self-reliant. It's great to know how to cook, drive a stick, change a tire, and (thanks to strength training) be able to take care of myself physically. Someone can and ought to, secondly, develop skills that make his presence more valued by other people. Some skills are professional (someone is more valuable learning a new programming language), some are personal (someone's company is more desirable when they know how to really listen to others say). That I think is meaningful self-development.

I would say that the biggest thing one can strive for is a cause to fight for. If you think about all the people we admire, it is those who keep pushing for something great, even as they face critics. Something better for themselves or others. It doesn't have to be high-profile. It has to be something that gives you a sense of satisfaction, a sense of contribution.

We all love and admire passion. Why does everyone dig scars? What do you think they signify?


Saturday, July 14, 2012

Employers, Ray Allen leaving and New England sports fans

It's been a while since I have written. Today I am going to take on a new subject.

I am a big Boston Celtics fan, and I was saddened to hear that Ray Allen signed with Miami. BUT, I think the anger that many New England fans feel is short-sighted.

People leave employers all the time for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it is about things besides money. Things such as how satisfied you feel in your role in the company and even how respected you feel in your line of work.

I know, because I have left an employer for reasons like that. The company was very good to me and I really liked the people I worked with, but I felt forced to play "out of position" and I felt my best talents were going underused.  It wasn't anyone's fault, it was just the nature of the business and the styles of the people who ran the place. Anyway, I accepted another job offer while I was working on an important project for the company that I was working for at the time.  I really wanted to leave the company I was working for at the time in a better place, so I postponed my start date for my position with the new company by a couple of weeks, and (before I told my current employer at the time that I would soon be leaving) I spent my last few weeks busting tail to finish the project I was working on for my current employer at the time. After spending a week straight of really late nights at the office, I was finally satisfied with what I had done with the project, and I delivered it the next day to my current employer at the time and they were very happy with it.  Then the next day, after I delivered my project, I gave my notice. To this day I'm proud of the fact that I didn't lay down my last few weeks on the job (in fact, I worked my ass off to finish the task at hand) and I believe they appreciated my efforts as well. My last day they took me to lunch, and they gave me some extra money my last paycheck.

They didn't lobby too hard to keep me when I gave my notice though because they'd be fine without me. And they were. Anyway, my former employer and I are on good terms. Why wouldn't we be? We treated each other well. I did leave, but I worked hard to deliver the goods for their money.

Anyway,  getting back to Ray Allen, it was a pleasure to watch him play for the past 5 years. He was a huge part of the 2007-2008 NBA Championship. Meanwhile, it sounds that he made all sorts of sacrifices to fit in. In his last few weeks with the Celtics, he played hurt and still scored in double figures a game. So, what exactly does he owe the Celtics? What's more, he had to accept falling behind on the pecking order to younger teammates (Avery Bradley replaced him in the starting line-up, supposedly on behest of Rajon Rondo which is just how things sometimes go in professional sports but it still must have been hard for someone who was making the All-Star team when Bradley and Rondo were still kids).

Ray Allen also had to endure trade rumors. He nearly went to Memphis in March. Isn't loyalty a two-way street?

Last but not least, I didn't even talk about all the community service Ray Allen did in Boston.

New England fans are intensely passionate. But I think they forget that athletes are human too and have to deal with issues on their job too. One such issue that most people don't have to deal with is having to step aside or accept a lesser role as they get older even after years of All-Star performance. Anyway, many sports fans don't accept the athlete's prerogative to look for the best fit for him. Just as anyone else has the right to look for a new employer if he isn't happy with his current employer.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Feeling at home here, or not...

I set a couple of PRs this week in the box. For some reason I never could hang-snatch 135--which is the bar plus a big plate on each side so it's sort of a milestone weight. (What is the difference between hang-snatching a weight versus snatching it? When you snatch a weight, you pull the weight off the ground before you explosively open your hips. When you hang-snatch a weight, your movement starts with the weight stationary while already against your thighs (just above the knees) instead of the ground. That you don't get the momentum of the weight already coming up from off the ground plus the fact that your grip is somewhat fatigued (from holding the weight at the start of the movement instead of the weight being supported by the ground) makes the hang-snatch harder than the snatch.) I decided this week that I was going to conquer this. I warmed up with 95, and I wasn't feeling very good with that set. I did a couple with 95 until I coordinated my jump and shrug. When that felt dialed in, I did 115. Then 125. For some reason that felt the easiest yet.

Then I decided to go for 135. I took all the small plates off the bar and put on a big plate on each side. I dead-lift the weight with a snatch grip, and then bend at the hips sticking my bit back, and consciously arch my back to engage my hamstrings. I repeat in my mind my mantra "jump and shrug and stomp" and then go for it. Nailed it! I tried it again. Yes.  I ended up doing 7 hang-snatches (although not in the same set). 

My goal is to get a body-weight snatch by the end of the year--which is 165 pounds.

I then did a set of 7 muscle-ups. They just seem to be becoming easier and easier for me. Probably because I work on them so damn much.

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I keep having the same dreams over and over. In one dream I'm wondering this dark land, sometimes it's a barren desert, sometimes it's an urban setting. In another dream I am wandering this island, where it's supposed to be paradise, but it's  clouding up and a storm is coming in. And there is somewhere else I'm supposed to be and so I'm hustling away from there. I'm in the hotel lobby on the phone soliciting a taxi to take me to the airport. In yet another dream, I'm navigating a bunch of roads going through woods and over hills and one road goes along a river. It's a nice enough day outside. But I never quite arrive at the destination. 

I've been here in Annapolis for 4 years and each year has been rewarding for me. I've made each year rewarding.  I've met some awesome people here. I pushed myself a lot and so I grew a lot in the process. And yet, there are plenty of times where I feel that I don't fit in. I don't think Annapolis is home for me. 


Maybe the time is soon coming for me to move on from here. I'm quite OK with that. I'll keep my friends here. I've also lived in several places by myself as an adult. And I've moved to each one of them not knowing anyone and yet each time I ended up making a decent life for myself. I made friends. I dated. I did this moving into Baltimore, Princeton, San Diego, and here in Annapolis. I could sure as hell do it again. In fact I am more well-prepared for a move to a new place than any other point in my life up to now.


I might feel differently about this place if I met someone from around here and we started dating seriously. But if I did meet such a woman anywhere within 50 miles from the 21403 zip, I don't think it would be someone who lives in Annapolis. Why not?


Well, I do online dating, and my response rate is much higher writing the women in the DC area than it is writing the women here. This even though I live some 45 minutes away from the women in DC while I live only a short drive sway from women in Annapolis. It just seems much harder to find here someone who has what I am looking for--smart, athletic, healthy, AND truly single. It seems like most of the women around here who could be what I'm looking for, are taken--married, engaged, or someone else's girlfriend--or are really entrenched in their social circles which include too many exes, for my taste. And many of the women who are what I am looking for, and who move in here from somewhere else, seem to get swooped up quickly.


That said, I've dated a fair amount despite this anyway. I haven't met the right one yet though, and that is what I am really looking for. How did I meet women? Mostly online. I met a few at Whole Foods.  That might be a subject for another blog post.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Not being a fan...

Or should I say, not being *just* a fan.

Before class on Tuesday I came in early to work on my lifts. I love this extra work because I am seeing and feeling the results. Anyway, I worked on snatches and overhead squats.

I start with the 45-pound bar and hang power snatch it. I feel a twinge of pain from my wrists. I try to bend down into an overhead squat but I wasn't going down. I am really really stiff. I do a couple more with the bar, and then I add a 25-pound plate on each side to make it 95 pounds total, and that helps. The extra weight actually helps pushes me down into an overhead squat. My wrists still ache a bit, but not as much. I do a few of those until I feel warmed up.

I then do a few 115-pound hang power snatches to warm up.

Finally I take off the smaller plates off the bar, and put a 45-pound plate on each side of the bar for 135 pounds total. I then squat down and snatch-grip the barbell. My body is still reluctant, but I'm going to push through anyway. I snatch the barbell overhead (no pressout), and then with my arms still locked out, I do 7 overhead squats, perfect form and depth. Nice. Feeling quite satisfied, I then drop the barbell from the overhead position and let it fall to the floor with a satisfying thud.

My wrists are no longer aching.

I do this two more times--a snatch from the ground with the 135-pound barbell and then with my arms already locked out overhead, 7 overhead squats, resting a couple of minutes between sets. I am feeling so fired up that even though I said I wasn't going to do any muscle-ups, I do a set of 4.

Then it's time for the class workout, a smoker of 4 rounds of 10 hand-stand pushups, 15 1.5 pood kettlebell swings, 10 burpees, and then a 200-meter row. Even though there was a 6-minute rest between rounds, by the time I am done I am on my hands and knees unable to talk and dripping sweat on the floor.

Why am I doing this?

I think about why and I realize that I never wanted to be just a fan. I want to be the one with the stories and lessons, the one blazing the trail. I've always admired athletic accomplishment, and so I want that to be me as well. I want to be someone pushing the limits and overcoming obstacles.

I know I'm not unique. I work out with some amazing people. People who are making things happen in and out of the box.

And yet I'm battling myself a lot too. As I am writing this I have a stiff back. I have to curtail my intensity before I turn myself into an old man. I am incredibly lazy sometimes too. One part of me is so focused, and yet another part of me can be a slacker with the best of them.

Nuts eh?

Saturday, April 7, 2012

7 in a row....

Since last Saturday I had been resting--no working out--until yesterday. My forearms in particular had been aching and so the week off was great. Yesterday I got back into the box and did a set of muscle-ups before class. I finally got 7 strict in one set. Then in class we did snatches, heavy deadlifts, and a met-con. Then after class I stayed and did some more muscle-ups, some overhead squats (no rack, bar goes from the ground to overhead with a snatch) with 135 pounds.

And today I am thoroughly sore.

I had planned on spending Easter by myself--no plans, family is far away--but then a girl I have been casually seeing called and asked if I wanted to spend it with her and her friends and I found myself saying yes. It was cool that she thought of me.

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Anyway, I have done enough dating to know what I am looking for. Here are things I am turned on by...


Passion/Contribution. I went out with a girl recently who works in the medical profession. Talked for a solid hour about she felt needed to change. She furthermore discovered a new position she was very excited about and I got to hear about that too. I found it thoroughly hot that she cared so much about what she is doing, and how thoroughly she knew her stuff.

She is just one example though. EVERY girl whom I dated who made a memorable impression on me, can be described this way. Even though they are in different fields.


Success. I trust you can see the moral behind this story. Over a decade ago when I was a graduate student, I often saw around a girl in my apartment complex. She was cute enough, but I didn't think much about her until I saw her car--a new BMW. She was no older than I was and was able to get herself such a nice car--and she had a really nice place too--and this was before the days of easy credit. At the time I was driving a 10-year-old Honda Civic with 150k+ miles on it and no air conditioning.

Don't misunderstand me. As I wrote above, I could just as easily fall for a teacher making next to nothing who also needs to wait tables at night, who really cares about what she does. It wasn't that girl's car I was into, it was her drive that enabled her to get that car. And that she seemed so down-to-earth about it.


Strength. I think it is really cool when a woman takes pride in being physically strong. I think my ideal first date would be coaching a girl through her first muscle-up and then having her buy me dinner to celebrate.

I'm only halfway kidding here....

Saturday, March 31, 2012

You (usually) get what you deserve...

I'll admit it.... I am an incredibly competitive person. I don't let on, but I hate doing badly in things.

I will also admit that no matter what workouts they picked for the Open, I wouldn't have done much better. No matter how much I griped about them putting Karen in 11.4. I wouldn't have done much worse either. I got a fair shake. There's no "if-only"'s for me, because there was no way I could have done much better.

This was clear this week at the box. One met-con was a heavy one--AMRAP in 8 minutes, where a round is 6 155-pound push-jerks (no rack) and then 3 rope climbs. I got through a couple of rounds, but those push-jerks were heavy to me. To a lot of people, they were not. As I am writing this, I'm thinking of a quote by I believe Jim Rohn (which I might be paraphrasing): "Don't wish things were easier, wish you were stronger".

Anyway, I have a long list of things I need to do for next year.

Today we did an 8 minute AMRAP of 3 135-pound snatches and 5 muscle-ups. I insisted on doing my muscle-ups strict and got through almost 3 rounds, but even this I need to get stronger. My snatches were OK according to CrossFit standards, but there was pressing out. I want them clean.

This is by and large true in every area of my life. What I've done well in, I had talent and I also worked very hard in. What I haven't, I did not. Of the relationships I was in and whatever position I held, things didn't work out because they couldn't. It wasn't any one thing someone said or did, it was basic incompatibility. Yes, some of the above things might have turned out differently if I had been more mature or wiser, but I just wasn't there yet.

Realizing how much we are in control of our destiny and how much we get what we really deserve, it's a liberating thought. Yes, life does come down to seizing moments, but if you are ready, you will seize enough of those moments and make the most of them. It comes down to one missed opportunity less than we tend to think it does.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

I'm glad I did it, but I'm glad it's over....

Today was the last day of the Open. I definitely didn't set the world on fire with my performances the past 5 Saturdays, but I am still really glad that I did it.

This morning driving to the Box, I felt uncharacteristically tired. For the life of me I couldn't psyche myself up. I dragged myself out of bed this morning at the last minute and ate some chocolate-covered coffee beans and it didn't work. I got more concerned when I was warming up when I got to the box. Not only was I tired but I was stiff. I wanted to lay down on the mat and take a nap.

The first few workouts for the Open I had so much energy when I arrived that by the time it came for me to work out, my adrenaline felt like it peaked. Not today. I didn't have any adrenaline.

Anyway, today's workout for the Open was a thruster/pull-up ladder: 7 minutes of the following: 3 100-pound thrusters and then 3 chest-to-bar pull-ups, then 6 100-pound thrusters and 6 chest-to-bar pull-ups, and then 9 thrusters (Same weight as before) and 9 CTBs, and so on; get as far along as you can on the ladder in 7 minutes and your score is the number of reps (number of thrusters you do plus the number of CTBs). (A thruster is the following: The barbell starts in rack position resting on your front shoulders. You then front-squat the weight, and then as you are driving up to the top on the squat, you press the weight from off your front shoulders to locked out overhead, so that the barbell goes from on your front shoulders shoulders with you standing to start, to on your front shoulders with you in a full squat, to pressed out overhead with you standing out, in one smooth motion.)

So I did some zombie squats with the 45-pound bar to loosen up. After about 5 reps my knees could flare and I got lower and lower. I then did a couple kettlebell squats and on the bottom, drove my knees out even more with my elbows. I was hoping there would be more than one heat and that I could wait until the second heat to go.

Nope.

Anyway, at 3-2-1 Go I do the first 3 thrusters. Honestly things felt a little foggy, like I suddenly was on adrenaline that wasn't there before. The weight felt light. Then the 3 chest-to-bar pull-ups. I was concerned--I wasn't kipping, but I was slamming my chest against the bar. Maybe it was the adrenaline, but adrenaline doesn't last long--so I also was thinking I was going to soon hit the wall. Then it was onto the set of 6 100-pound thrusters. I get through those easily but I really had to remind myself to breathe during the set. Then 6 more chest-to-bar pull-ups. I take a break, and then go onto the 9 thrusters and then 9 CTBs. Only a few minutes in and I did 36 reps total by this point. I tried this workout once last year and I got 39 reps total. By 4 minutes in I did the set of 12 thrusters and now had 48 reps. I then get the 12 chest-to-bar pull-ups and get to 60 reps. I then start the set of 15 thrusters--now the weight is feeling pretty heavy to me--and only get 4 more reps for 64 reps total.

I really learned a lot these past 5 weeks. I know that if I work on some things, I will do much better next year. My list so far:

--Wall-balls. They are a little tougher for those of us shorter people with shorter arms because we have to throw the ball higher to reach the target because the target is that much higher than the top of our (shorter) reach. The ball also comes down a little harder on us, because it has a little longer to travel to our reach. And the 20-pound ball's weight is a higher percentage of our body weight. But still, that's absolutely no excuse. Lots of short people are good at wall-balls. Also, tall people have to do a lot more work to do a squat (longer legs so they move the weight a longer distance per rep) and especially pull-ups (longer arms AND more body-weight). And they don't gripe. Anyway, getting good at those will increase cardiovascular capacity for other movements.

--Snatches. They came up big-time this year, and even though I don't think they will come up like that again next year, getting good at that olympic lift should translate well to a powerful clean. Getting the weight from the thighs to overhead with arms locked out in one smooth motion is definitely easier than getting weight to the front of the shoulders. Besides, I'm pretty close to a body weight snatch. That's just something cool to have for bragging rights.

--Squats. I need to get stronger, and the squat is a big part of where it all begins. I will work on overhead squats when I do snatches, but I also need to do back squats and front squats.

--Strongman stuff. We did Zercher carries and Atlas stone squats, and I love those movements. They challenge you and build you up in ways that barbell movements cannot.

--Double-unders.

--Muscle-ups. I just feel so much stronger in my upper-body thanks to these. Even those I have good muscle-ups, I can get better.

This sounds like a lot, but I think it is doable. A couple times a week, I will do a set of 30 wall-balls after class. Shouldn't take more than a minute and a half, literally, of work. I can also do a set of muscle-ups right before/during the warm-ups. Depending on the workout scheduled, I can also do snatches, squats, and maybe some strongman stuff before class. Double-unders I can work on at home on my patio.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Hold on a second, I say to her....

I was on a first date with someone last Wednesday night. Around 8:15 (5:15 PDT for those of you on the West Coast) I break a cardinal rule of first dates and interrupt her to check my phone. "Hold on a second. I really need to check this..." She then hears me blast out some expletives. I just saw WOD 12.4.

So I didn't come across as a weirdo, I explained to her what I was checking out. We had a conversation about CrossFit, wall-balls (I hate 'em and I suck at 'em), double-unders, and muscle-ups (my chance to brag--I'm pretty good at these).

I met this girl online. Which is what I really want to talk about this time--online dating. I got into it because ultimately I am looking for one the right person for me.  I haven't found her yet, but I have amassed some interesting stories. None of them horror stories--I would actually say that for every person I met, there was something good about them that made seeing them--even if it was only that one time--worthwhile. Anyway, this is my perspective on it, as a single guy. I'm going to try to say some things that are useful to people of both genders.

The pros of online dating: You get to meet a lot of different people of the opposite gender. If you're smart you'll "get better at" dating. (I put this in quotes because I'm not entirely positive about what it means. I have an idea though.) Your social skills will become sharper. You'll get lots of practice in dealing with the following scenario: You have someone in front of you whom you've never met, and the idea is to let a connection happen between you and the other person. You'll become better at asking questions to draw them out, and at telling stories about your life that the other person can relate to. If you are smart that is.

The cons of online dating: You will have a lot of people cycle in and out of your life. As in, you notice them online, you write them, and they write you back! Then you exchange a couple emails on each end where you put in effort to come across as witty, interested, and interesting... and then you finally meet and go out, and for all the built-up anticipation, that's it. The first date was "nice" but there is no second date. If you are a guy, you will find this out because she won't return your phone calls or texts, and if you are a girl, he will never call or text you, your great email exchange notwithstanding. Who knows quite what is going on at their end or yours. BUT for all that energy on your end, it was still a no-rep.

For all this, you do end up making friends with some of the people you meet. I have at least.

Anyway, you may go through something like this a bunch of times in a year. Can you handle that? I accepted that as it is what it is, but I don't like that aspect of it.

I will give you an example from my own life that made me realize I needed to slow my roll. One point in the past I wrote 7 women online in a couple of days. As maybe 15--20% write me back (I hear that is actually a decent ratio for a guy), I expect that this will lead to one girl I'd be communicating with. Well, three of them wrote me back. I ended up with three first dates the next week. I ended up keeping them all straight from each other by using a notebook. All three first dates were "nice" and ended with a kiss. By the end of the week my head was spinning. Some guys are wired to be players. I apparently am not.

It ended up working out not so bad though. Two of the three didn't return my phone calls anyway.

I want to emphasize that this is definitely NOT the way I want to be dating. I am really looking for that one special girl. If I end up being friends with someone it's fine, but I'm just not wired to be having all of these people come in and out of my life. That said, online dating is what it is. These are my suggestions, from what I've observed...

Guys, the ideal first dates are the ones where you are active and doing something you like. I stress this for guys because it is on us to plan the date. (Do I even need to mention to have a specific plan ready when you call the girl?) It also should be something she might like too. The main reason is that if you are having fun and you are conveying that to her, she will be more likely to be enjoying herself too.

Every girl I dated for any length of time ended up becoming into at least some of what I was into. That's true for you too, right?

Finding something like that hopefully isn't that hard. You wrote her because you could see her fitting into your life, right? You show consideration by making the logistics easy for her--semi-public so she feels safe, and easy for her to get to if she doesn't feel comfortable wit you picking her up, and give her your last name.

Example: I like hiking. So now that the weather has gotten nice that is my first choice for a first date. And I'm finding that the girls who go along with that are just cooler and lower-maintenance. (I assume that the girl isn't some psycho or anything. To assure the girl I'm sane myself, I will give the girl my last name in my first text to her.)

At any rate, the first date needs to be something where you are NOT spending too much money. Why would you be spending a lot of money anyway? What are you trying to do? Do you think that will impress her or make her feel special? The two of you don't know each other yet! I would say that if she expects that of a guy she hasn't met before, then...

As a backup plan, find a few fun bars or coffee shops in different areas and a place where you can walk around if things are going really well.


Girls, say a bit more in your profile. Women complain about the bad emails they get from guys online. But what is a guy supposed to write you, when so many of you put the usual cliches in your profile. "Duh, your friends and family are really important to you?? And you love going out one night and staying in the next night?? You love to laugh and travel too? How rare!"

When you write your profile, I would advise: think of what you would want a guy to ask you or comment on. Then drop in a hook.

And in your pictures, why do so many of you have shots of you getting too palsy-walsy with other guys? We get that you are popular and that guys find you attractive. As someone who has female friends and a couple close ones, I think it's cool if a girl has male friends. But no guy wants to get involved with a girl who has guy friends she is "too close" with. Do I really need to explain why?

As for myself personally, there just aren't that many women I decide to write. Nothing to connect to in their profiles. That's the main reason for me. The few that I do decide to write, it was because I saw something that they wrote or something in their pictures that I could connect with.

I didn't say much about how to act on the first date. That is kind of telling. Truthfully, if the date doesn't go well, many of us guys actually will blame ourselves. You might be surprised. BUT be aware, a big reason why we guys don't call you for Date #2 is because you just didn't seem that into us. We have our pride too....


More to come in a future blog....

Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Open and getting on it...

I still snicker whenever I say I did some heavy snatches. But I am going to use versions of that phrase a lot this post...

My performance in Workout 12.2 can be summed up in one number: 41. As in, I did 41 reps; 30 snatches at 75 pounds, and then 11 snatches at 135 pounds, in 10 minutes. [Background: Workout 12.2 was a snatch ladder. First do as many 75-pound snatches as you can, up to 30, in 10 minutes, and then if you get 30 75-pound snatches, then do as many 135-pound snatches, up to 30, at 135 pounds in the remaining time, and then if you get 30 135-pound snatches, do as many 165-pound snatches as you can, up to 30, in the remaining time, and then finally, if you get 30 165-pound snatches (!), do as many 210-pound snatches as you can in the remaining time. So do as many snatches as you can in 10 minutes, the first 30 done at 75 pounds, the next 30 at 135 pounds, the next 30 after that done at 165 pounds, and all the others after that done at 210 pounds.] I didn't set any records. I aint going to Regionals. But I am happy with how things went.

See 135 pounds is 80% of my body weight for one thing. I also set out to do what I intended: Get into the 40s.

The Open was one of the smartest concepts to come out of CrossFit. The idea of involving into competition everyone who wants to get involved was genius. It really increases the motivation of well, basically the entire community. Wait.... open athletic competitions aren't a new concept by any means... Aren't many triathlons and marathons open competitions? They are, but what if you find running or "long cardio" boring? What about recreational soccer/baseball/basketball leagues? Well, maybe, but do you ever get to start the season knowing that LeBron James is playing in in the very same league you are, and that if you happen to do good enough, that you'll be able to go up against LeBron James head-to-head yourself? And to "do good enough", you won't have to compete against your teammates or lobby for them to give you the ball more. The weight doesn't care who you are. And what's more, you can track "how good you can do" in your workouts throughout the year. You can set concrete goals, and check to see how you are achieving them. There is a clear path to "doing better". You might not ever be as good as Richard Froning in CrossFit, but there is still a clear and well-lit path to your "doing better" than you have been doing.

There's something about this that just lights a fire underneath you. And makes you want to keep getting on it. At least it has for me anyway.

Take today. I got 41 reps. Not a great score, but still decent, and in a movement that I've spent little time on. I know that if I were to work on my snatch [I still snicker every time I say that phrase too] as diligently as I worked on my muscle-up this past year, I would do much *much* better on Workout 12.2 if it ever were to come up again. A year ago I had NO muscle-up. Even after I got one I still sucked at them for a good 5 months after. And then it came together for me, and now I can bust out several of them strict in a set. Diligence and effort can make up for average talent, especially in CrossFit. Now surely a workout like 12.2 will not come up again, but surely heavy snatches will come up again. And in the meanwhile, there is a lot of carry-over. It's hard to imagine being strong in one lift and totally sucking in another that's anything like it.

And working on my lifts is what I plan to do. There is something about the snatch that is so appealing--done right it is such a beautiful lift. It's technical but the technical is what makes it great. Coordinate the different muscles in your body right and you'll quickly get a heavy weight overhead in one elegant motion.

In general, I really feel that if I were to work hard on certain things, next year I could do much better. And it is an adrenaline rush. Right now I am so amped. I want to deadlift an Excursion. Even though I did a lot today [I stayed after and worked on muscle-ups] I am motivated to go in tomorrow. [At least now that is. We'll see how I actually feel tomorrow morning and whether DOMS kicks in.] I'm hoping tomorrow is a crazy smoker with wall-balls, rowing, and maybe some double-unders.

I have never felt this way after a typical Saturday morning class.... as great as they are.

I'm even considering giving up my cherry-picking ways for good and embrace the long cardio-style workouts. Considering. I might be amped up, but I'm not crazy or anything!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Happiness and Whole Foods Coffee....

There's nothing like a bunch of yoke carries and back squats to get the testosterone flowing. Right now I just really want to push an Escalade up a hill. Thanks Erin!

Expanding on what I wrote the other day, I was thinking about the times in my life which I felt the most alive. I'm thinking of one time in particular. It was Fall 2000. What made that time so special for me?

Well, it wasn't the money I was making--barely enough for a single guy to live on. The car I was driving was a 1991 Honda Civic with 150,000 miles and no power steering and no air conditioning. I had just enough money to pay for rent, food, and if I budgeted well, a beer every now and then and a jar of protein powder--the good kind. My younger sister and most of my friends from school--both high school and college--were working and were making money, a lot more than I was making at the time. I was broke.

And no, I wasn't even dating someone at the time. And yet, still, I was really really happy.

Anyway, that fall I was finishing up my last year in graduate school and I was writing my thesis. What a crazy time it was! Besides making next to nothing, I was working 70-hour weeks. My days consisted of coming into the office at 9, staying until 5, leaving go home to eat and then to work out at the university gym, and then coming back at 9 and staying until 1. I worked on Saturdays and Sundays too.

If I was working so hard and had no money then, no life, and no girl, then why was I so happy? I was working hard on a project was I totally engrossed in. My thesis was on an esoteric topic that someone wouldn't care about if they weren't a mathematician, but that didn't really matter. It represented all I ever wanted to do at the time, which was to make a contribution to science. To be the first to figure something out. I was doing exactly that. And so I worked my ass off to make sure that it turned out as great as it possibly could.

And there were also the relationships that came from all this. My friends in graduate school who were working alongside me on their projects. I love the joking around, the endless discussions, and the occasional leaving to go get a beer. Working with my advisor Rao. See he and I are both really stubborn, and we clashed sometimes. But I think that this conflict only added to everything. I loved working with Rao on this.

Thanks to email, I even had colleagues on different continents!

There is also something about trying and working really really hard to get something, having no success at it, and then suddenly, at the most unexpected moment, it just finally comes together. Maybe it's what they say about we human beings being suckers for variable reinforcement, but I was sucked in. You never know when inspiration would kick in, and I kept working for it. I had that happen a bunch of times during that fall. Once when I was home in Rhode Island running on the beach in Westerly on the sunday during Labor Day Weekend. I was scribbling out my equations in the sand like a madman. A couple other times that fall, sent out a few adrenaline-fueled emails at 2:30 in the morning. My European colleagues would be reading what I wrote over their morning coffee I suppose.

No, all this was not a sustainable nor was it a healthful lifestyle, long-term. Spend all of your time focused on one thing for too long a period and eventually it will hurt you (e.g., burn-out). I just couldn't keep up that pace forever. I couldn't go back to that life today. At least, not totally. But for the time being, it was perfect. I was pursuing my passion.

Anyway, I feel some of this working out now. Some. I might never compete in the Games in July, but still, this is all making me grow as a person, physically and mentally. How I am doing something I am excited about. When I started CrossFit, I couldn't do a muscle-up, and now I can do several strict. And CrossFit has led to this blog. Which has led to me understanding myself better and hopefully, to write something that serves you reading this.

And there are the relationships that have come from CrossFit. I have gotten to become friends with some awesome people whom I never would have met otherwise. There is something about going through something so physically challenging that bonds people together. I'm hoping by this time next year to become an instructor myself. I want to lead other people through that physical transformation.


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On a lighter note, Whole Foods coffee tastes really good cold. I got myself a large hot coffee last night--don't ask why--but then I decided that it would be better if I didn't drink it. So I absentmindedly left the cup in the center console of my car. When I sipped it the next morning it tasted really good. Like really strong, good, ice coffee.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The CrossFit Open and some milestones....

I signed up for the CrossFit Open this past week. I have no idea what to expect for it really, but I am looking forward to it. And I celebrated by kicking ass on my last two workouts.

Tonight was a lot of fun--5 rounds of 3 TNG power cleans (TNG = touch-and-go, as in the bar is on the ground for less than a second before you start your next rep of the set), 7 burpees as fast as possible, and then a 200M sprint (with a 4 minute rest between rounds). I start with 155 pounds on the bar for the power cleans for the first round. It's typically a fairly heavy weight for me. I fly through the first set. Too easy. So I add 10 pounds for Round 2--I weigh 165 pounds so that is my body-weight. Still too easy. So I add another 10 pounds to make it 175 pounds total for Round 3. I had never done a set of 3 TNG power cleans at 175 pounds before today. I actually do it for Round 3 (new personal record) but it was challenging. I was tempted to drop back down for Rounds 4 and 5 but I decide against it. I put the weight on the bar, so I have to live with it. Anyway, I get through Rounds 4 and 5 with 175 pounds on the bar. Awesome.

I had an interesting interaction with a newcomer. He saw me bang out a set of muscle-ups and he said "I could never do that". I told him the truth--even though I got 6 strict in one set, a year ago I couldn't even do 1 muscle-up, not a single one, not even with a kip. And a year ago I still had been doing CrossFit for a year. So I was over a year into CrossFit before I got my first muscle-up.

My first muscle-up was in April 2011, and it actually pretty ugly with a lot of kipping and writhing. And I am still not even sure if it should have counted, because during my attempt, the left ring actually was a little loose and slid down maybe an inch or so. Maybe that inch that the left ring slid down was the difference that allowed me to get myself through the transition and settled over the rings. Still, it was a really cool sensation, finally getting through the transition and being above the rings like that. Anyway, to assuage my guilty conscience, I did go back in a couple days later and attempt it again, and this time the muscle-up was fully legit.

It was still several months after my first muscle-up last year in April before I actually became proficient in muscle-ups though. I used to attempt muscle-ups before (and sometimes after) class during the summer of 2011. Through August I usually would be able to get only something like 3 or 4 and that would be it. And they would all be singles--only one in a set--as in I could do one and then I would have to come down off the rings and rest before I could do another--and all kipping. I finally started to string them together in September, and then in October, I finally got them strict. By the end of October I could do 3 or 4 strict muscle-ups in one set. Now in February I can do 6 strict in one set. I hope one of these days to be up to 10 strict. When I get there, maybe I will post a youtube video.

Anyway my point of this is that time and persistence is a powerful ally. Improve 2% in a week, and you will improve 100% in 50 weeks which is about a year. Embark on a journey and if you stick with it, who knows how far it will take you.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

It's been a while.... (Happy New Year!)

Forgive me for the time away. It's been a crazy two months. I have actually been without a computer for the last month. Anyway, it's good to be back.

Anyway, I have thought of what it means to be growing as human beings. I know that I find myself battling two issues. One is my drive to make my dent in the universe. Another is quite frankly, my laziness. As I mentioned earlier, I love love love sitting on my keister....

I believe that the drive to make a dent in the universe is something we all have. Some are more in touch with it than others though, and some use it for evil rather than good. But I really do believe that this is something we all share. See we are on this planet for only a limited time. And yet, we still want immortality in some sense--something that will live on after we pass. This drive to seek out immortality takes on a bunch of different forms. I believe my sister found it in motherhood in her devotion to her son (and my nephew--he is now 1), and maybe to an extent in her career as a PA. (I hate ceding control, but man, if I ever got sick and had to go to the hospital, I'd gladly let her do the talking to the doctors for me. I saw that when my dad got sick last fall, in how she handled everything. And also in how much respect the surgeon--whom she actually worked with a few years in that very hospital before that--respected her. I'd bet that they would have hired back right then and there if she had wanted to come back. Her shifts were so tightly run--she always made sure that both the doctors AND her patients had the relevant information in a timely fashion. Her patients were so grateful that they were inviting her to barbecues. I could never do as good as job as she did! I'm just not that organized...)

I felt that drive to make a dent in the universe when I was submitting my first research paper for publication. I was taking a long trip the next day, and I just had to get it in the night before. What if I lost my life in a crash? I still wanted that paper to get published, and to be out there. The specific topic isn't really that important here--it is my contribution to science, and I wanted it to live on.

Anyway, a big part of making my dent in the universe relates to physical fitness and CrossFit. I think I said this before on here but I will mention it again: I really feel there is something at least metaphorical about expanding one's physical capacities. I feel a lot more confident, and that confidence translates into going for what I want in other areas of life.

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I have been away for another reason. My UC has been flaring, and it has been keeping me out of the gym, at least I haven't been going to the box that often. I am now finishing a course of prednisone. Did I tell you how much I love that drug? It's a total deal with the devil because the long-term side effects are so nasty, but as far as stopping the flare, there's nothing better. I love the feeling of not having to deal with the occasional sharp twisting pain in my gut--that feeling that my intestines are being wrenched and poked with a screwdriver, of not having to deal with feeling like an asshole just for having a beer--alcohol is better avoided when flaring, of not always having to find out where the bathroom is "just in case", of not feeling like I am going to lose it--on both ends of my GI tract--after a really tough WOD, of just wanting to go to bed at 9 PM because I feel so run down. Seriously, when I am flaring, I take "Uncle P" and the lights just come back on for me.

Anyway, I am going on Remicade. It is injected--once every several weeks you go in for two hours and they hook an IV up to you, and meanwhile you get to relax on the couch. Sounds fine to me. I hope it works.

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Meanwhile I signed up for the Crossfit Open. I am excited to see how I have progressed! I haven't felt like an athlete since college. I have strung together 6 strict muscle-ups, and am decent on the strength stuff, at least relative to body weight. I have holes though--I don't really have a double-under. We will see in a couple of weeks.