Feeling at home here, or not...

I set a couple of PRs this week in the box. For some reason I never could hang-snatch 135--which is the bar plus a big plate on each side so it's sort of a milestone weight. (What is the difference between hang-snatching a weight versus snatching it? When you snatch a weight, you pull the weight off the ground before you explosively open your hips. When you hang-snatch a weight, your movement starts with the weight stationary while already against your thighs (just above the knees) instead of the ground. That you don't get the momentum of the weight already coming up from off the ground plus the fact that your grip is somewhat fatigued (from holding the weight at the start of the movement instead of the weight being supported by the ground) makes the hang-snatch harder than the snatch.) I decided this week that I was going to conquer this. I warmed up with 95, and I wasn't feeling very good with that set. I did a couple with 95 until I coordinated my jump and shrug. When that felt dialed in, I did 115. Then 125. For some reason that felt the easiest yet.

Then I decided to go for 135. I took all the small plates off the bar and put on a big plate on each side. I dead-lift the weight with a snatch grip, and then bend at the hips sticking my bit back, and consciously arch my back to engage my hamstrings. I repeat in my mind my mantra "jump and shrug and stomp" and then go for it. Nailed it! I tried it again. Yes.  I ended up doing 7 hang-snatches (although not in the same set). 

My goal is to get a body-weight snatch by the end of the year--which is 165 pounds.

I then did a set of 7 muscle-ups. They just seem to be becoming easier and easier for me. Probably because I work on them so damn much.

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I keep having the same dreams over and over. In one dream I'm wondering this dark land, sometimes it's a barren desert, sometimes it's an urban setting. In another dream I am wandering this island, where it's supposed to be paradise, but it's  clouding up and a storm is coming in. And there is somewhere else I'm supposed to be and so I'm hustling away from there. I'm in the hotel lobby on the phone soliciting a taxi to take me to the airport. In yet another dream, I'm navigating a bunch of roads going through woods and over hills and one road goes along a river. It's a nice enough day outside. But I never quite arrive at the destination. 

I've been here in Annapolis for 4 years and each year has been rewarding for me. I've made each year rewarding.  I've met some awesome people here. I pushed myself a lot and so I grew a lot in the process. And yet, there are plenty of times where I feel that I don't fit in. I don't think Annapolis is home for me. 


Maybe the time is soon coming for me to move on from here. I'm quite OK with that. I'll keep my friends here. I've also lived in several places by myself as an adult. And I've moved to each one of them not knowing anyone and yet each time I ended up making a decent life for myself. I made friends. I dated. I did this moving into Baltimore, Princeton, San Diego, and here in Annapolis. I could sure as hell do it again. In fact I am more well-prepared for a move to a new place than any other point in my life up to now.


I might feel differently about this place if I met someone from around here and we started dating seriously. But if I did meet such a woman anywhere within 50 miles from the 21403 zip, I don't think it would be someone who lives in Annapolis. Why not?


Well, I do online dating, and my response rate is much higher writing the women in the DC area than it is writing the women here. This even though I live some 45 minutes away from the women in DC while I live only a short drive sway from women in Annapolis. It just seems much harder to find here someone who has what I am looking for--smart, athletic, healthy, AND truly single. It seems like most of the women around here who could be what I'm looking for, are taken--married, engaged, or someone else's girlfriend--or are really entrenched in their social circles which include too many exes, for my taste. And many of the women who are what I am looking for, and who move in here from somewhere else, seem to get swooped up quickly.


That said, I've dated a fair amount despite this anyway. I haven't met the right one yet though, and that is what I am really looking for. How did I meet women? Mostly online. I met a few at Whole Foods.  That might be a subject for another blog post.

Not being a fan...

Or should I say, not being *just* a fan.

Before class on Tuesday I came in early to work on my lifts. I love this extra work because I am seeing and feeling the results. Anyway, I worked on snatches and overhead squats.

I start with the 45-pound bar and hang power snatch it. I feel a twinge of pain from my wrists. I try to bend down into an overhead squat but I wasn't going down. I am really really stiff. I do a couple more with the bar, and then I add a 25-pound plate on each side to make it 95 pounds total, and that helps. The extra weight actually helps pushes me down into an overhead squat. My wrists still ache a bit, but not as much. I do a few of those until I feel warmed up.

I then do a few 115-pound hang power snatches to warm up.

Finally I take off the smaller plates off the bar, and put a 45-pound plate on each side of the bar for 135 pounds total. I then squat down and snatch-grip the barbell. My body is still reluctant, but I'm going to push through anyway. I snatch the barbell overhead (no pressout), and then with my arms still locked out, I do 7 overhead squats, perfect form and depth. Nice. Feeling quite satisfied, I then drop the barbell from the overhead position and let it fall to the floor with a satisfying thud.

My wrists are no longer aching.

I do this two more times--a snatch from the ground with the 135-pound barbell and then with my arms already locked out overhead, 7 overhead squats, resting a couple of minutes between sets. I am feeling so fired up that even though I said I wasn't going to do any muscle-ups, I do a set of 4.

Then it's time for the class workout, a smoker of 4 rounds of 10 hand-stand pushups, 15 1.5 pood kettlebell swings, 10 burpees, and then a 200-meter row. Even though there was a 6-minute rest between rounds, by the time I am done I am on my hands and knees unable to talk and dripping sweat on the floor.

Why am I doing this?

I think about why and I realize that I never wanted to be just a fan. I want to be the one with the stories and lessons, the one blazing the trail. I've always admired athletic accomplishment, and so I want that to be me as well. I want to be someone pushing the limits and overcoming obstacles.

I know I'm not unique. I work out with some amazing people. People who are making things happen in and out of the box.

And yet I'm battling myself a lot too. As I am writing this I have a stiff back. I have to curtail my intensity before I turn myself into an old man. I am incredibly lazy sometimes too. One part of me is so focused, and yet another part of me can be a slacker with the best of them.

Nuts eh?