It's been a while.... (Happy New Year!)

Forgive me for the time away. It's been a crazy two months. I have actually been without a computer for the last month. Anyway, it's good to be back.

Anyway, I have thought of what it means to be growing as human beings. I know that I find myself battling two issues. One is my drive to make my dent in the universe. Another is quite frankly, my laziness. As I mentioned earlier, I love love love sitting on my keister....

I believe that the drive to make a dent in the universe is something we all have. Some are more in touch with it than others though, and some use it for evil rather than good. But I really do believe that this is something we all share. See we are on this planet for only a limited time. And yet, we still want immortality in some sense--something that will live on after we pass. This drive to seek out immortality takes on a bunch of different forms. I believe my sister found it in motherhood in her devotion to her son (and my nephew--he is now 1), and maybe to an extent in her career as a PA. (I hate ceding control, but man, if I ever got sick and had to go to the hospital, I'd gladly let her do the talking to the doctors for me. I saw that when my dad got sick last fall, in how she handled everything. And also in how much respect the surgeon--whom she actually worked with a few years in that very hospital before that--respected her. I'd bet that they would have hired back right then and there if she had wanted to come back. Her shifts were so tightly run--she always made sure that both the doctors AND her patients had the relevant information in a timely fashion. Her patients were so grateful that they were inviting her to barbecues. I could never do as good as job as she did! I'm just not that organized...)

I felt that drive to make a dent in the universe when I was submitting my first research paper for publication. I was taking a long trip the next day, and I just had to get it in the night before. What if I lost my life in a crash? I still wanted that paper to get published, and to be out there. The specific topic isn't really that important here--it is my contribution to science, and I wanted it to live on.

Anyway, a big part of making my dent in the universe relates to physical fitness and CrossFit. I think I said this before on here but I will mention it again: I really feel there is something at least metaphorical about expanding one's physical capacities. I feel a lot more confident, and that confidence translates into going for what I want in other areas of life.

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I have been away for another reason. My UC has been flaring, and it has been keeping me out of the gym, at least I haven't been going to the box that often. I am now finishing a course of prednisone. Did I tell you how much I love that drug? It's a total deal with the devil because the long-term side effects are so nasty, but as far as stopping the flare, there's nothing better. I love the feeling of not having to deal with the occasional sharp twisting pain in my gut--that feeling that my intestines are being wrenched and poked with a screwdriver, of not having to deal with feeling like an asshole just for having a beer--alcohol is better avoided when flaring, of not always having to find out where the bathroom is "just in case", of not feeling like I am going to lose it--on both ends of my GI tract--after a really tough WOD, of just wanting to go to bed at 9 PM because I feel so run down. Seriously, when I am flaring, I take "Uncle P" and the lights just come back on for me.

Anyway, I am going on Remicade. It is injected--once every several weeks you go in for two hours and they hook an IV up to you, and meanwhile you get to relax on the couch. Sounds fine to me. I hope it works.

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Meanwhile I signed up for the Crossfit Open. I am excited to see how I have progressed! I haven't felt like an athlete since college. I have strung together 6 strict muscle-ups, and am decent on the strength stuff, at least relative to body weight. I have holes though--I don't really have a double-under. We will see in a couple of weeks.